CRAZY like A. Fox that is!...
Yes- I've been called ALL the names- from colloquial to clinical- none have ever been correct- none fit- and none of it really matters at this point. I've broken all the definitions and stereotypical molds of each term- and continue to move about this strange planet feeling different than most- hyper-sensitive, and overly conscious- "Abby-Normal" seems like a good fit.
CRAZY:
This one used to really offend me quite some time ago. I've grown to embrace it over time- mostly because I've come to terms with the fact that I gotta be something other than normal in this world that is so very disturbing. I equate this one with NUTS, and LOONEY- which I don't mind either- preferring nuts over plain any day, and having done some time in a Looney Bin- I consider myself a card carrying member.
DEPRESSED:
This one is overused and used incorrectly by most to the point of becoming just another word for sad, down, low energy, or experiencing grief. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression- and that I experience low-grade depression- but I'm sure most people don't have a true understanding of the term. I know of two specific times where I was surely depressed- I could barely get out of bed- had no desire to do anything- even shower- and basically sat on the couch drooling on so many psycotropis meds. I saw no reason to live and have no idea why I came out of it okay- time just passed and things got better. Believe me- it had nothing whatsoever to do with medication or therapy. Being in a bad or sad mood, or experiencing grief, or being perpetually hung over is not depression.
BI-POLAR:
This one has become SO overdiagnosed and overused by common folk- it has no true meaning anymore. I remember when this was "The Cadillac" of all diagnosses back in the 90s- but in recent years it has been used to describe anyone who has mood swings. I still get fairly offended when people throw this one around- maybe because this diagnosis is probably the closest correct diagnosis I had ever received. After re-reading the PDR numerous times, and staying clean and out of any shrink facility for lotso time- I don't feel like it's appropriate any more for me- but for a time- it was. I had numerous psychotic breaks folowing manic episodes, rapid cycling, racing thoughts, and was generally out of control. Mind numbing, lobotomizing ant-psychotics were the only medical answer at the time and although they kept me "safe" temporarily, I have been changed permanently.
So...
Call me crazy if you feel it's appropriate- names don't bother me any more- I've embraced them all and am proud to be other than normal.
